I have been known to travel to the other side of the dimension in search of adventure, but this month I was happy to visit Crumble Coast in search of one of their portalberry crumbles with custard! A day out in Bear Central’s favourite seaside resort might seem a bit mundane, but perhaps that’s because we too easily overlook the amazing places on our own doorstep.

I took the seaside Airbus which gets you to Crumbleton very quickly. I’d bought a coffee at the station and barely had time to finish it before we arrived. Luckily, the sea was calm during the ferry ride over to Crumble Coast as I had forgotten my anti-seasickness socks!

The beach was already busy, with bears sprawled on blankets, eating doughnuts in the sunshine but I bypassed them and took the raised walkway to Crumbleonia. After all, I was hungry and had been craving crumble ever since I was asked to do this review. This circular café has outside seating on each of its fifteen floors. Getting hungrier by the minute, I followed the walkway upwards to the main entrance on the first floor.

Each floor serves the same menu, but I received an insider tip that the crumble from the TOP floor is the very best. By the time I’d huffed and puffed my way up the stairs, I was muttering to myself about what I would say to my insider if she had sent me on a wild goose chase. Or, more appropriately, a crumble chase!  

But I needn’t have worried. I relaxed in the warm sunshine, looking out over the multicoloured sand and sparkling ocean, while enjoying a bowl of the most delicious portalberry crumble I’ve ever had. I tried to get the waitress to tell me the secret ingredient, but she just raised an eyebrow, smirked and denied there even was one. It remains a mystery!

Feeling rather full, I tottered back down the stairs in search of the famous fun-house, a large warehouse packed with every kind of slot machine known to bear. Alongside those were all sorts of other kinds of machine. My favourite was the miniature ‘submarine’ which takes you on a hilarious ‘underwater tour’ in a kind of giant bathtub, rubber ducks and all!

There were lots of fortune-telling gadgets. Apparently, I’m going to turn into a Pessabear at the next full moon and start playing the violin! Who knew?! There was also one where you picked the ingredients and invented your own cookie (don’t expect the result to be edible!) and another that made clothes out of candy floss (I’m chewing on my jumper right now!).

I couldn’t miss out on the tropical greenhouses and exotic butterflies, so I spent a couple of hours marvelling at the wonders inside, despite getting rather hot and sticky. Then there was just time for one of the crispy doughnuts, which had been teasing my nostrils since I arrived!

It’s all the fun of the fair, folks. In fact, the reason Crumble Coast is so popular is that there are so many things to see there that you can’t do them all in one day. I didn’t even have time for the steam train ride, or the scooter racing. And I still haven’t discovered the secret ingredient in that crumble. I guess I’ll just have to come back!