Jonny Bugatti Interviews: The Complainers

Jonny: Today we’re here with Dogga and Dudu from The Complainers, and their manager, Gary Grabsalot.

Jonny: So, Dogga, Dudu, you both come from Wales. Is that where you met?

Dudu: I suppose you could say that. We lived with the same family in Llandudno, Wales. That’s “HlanDIDno” by the way. So few people, know how to pronounce it. Including the children we lived with.  Jamie and Ginny thought it was “Clandudu”. Just my luck to be named after a town they couldn’t even pronounce!

Dogga looks equally miserable at the memory.

Dogga: And my luck. Jamie found me on a trip to Dolgellau. (That’s DolGETHlie by the way). He totally mangled the name of the town, and his parents thought it was FUNNY! So, then I became Dogaloo! It’s an insult, that’s what it is!

Gary has clearly heard this story before.

Gary: Jamie was only five years old, remember.

Dudu: Being five is no excuse! What was the Great Mind thinking?! IF the Great Mind exists, that is, I’m still not sure.

I notice he crosses his paws behind his back as he says this.

Jonny: So tell us about this forthcoming tour in Outer Beargolia?

Dogga rolls his eyes.

Dogga: Oh, yeah. Well we’re going to HAVE to do another tour apparently.

He looks sideways at Gary as he says this.

…But Outer Beargolia should be far enough away that hardly anyone turns up.

Gary chuckles.

Exactly!  Reverse psychology. It’s a challenge to the fans: you won’t turn up for this one! But they always do!

Dudu looks doubtful.

I don’t know. It’s a very long way. Who would spend money on a trip to Beargolia just to see us?

Gary: See what I mean? We’re advertising the tour on Furrygram as “The Complainers challenge you to come see them in Outer Beargolia!” I reckon we’ll get one of our biggest turnouts yet.

Dogga and Dudu look depressed at this thought.

Jonny: So are you planning any more albums after Can’t Win for Losing?

Gary brightens up. Dogga and Dudu look resigned.

Dogga: Well, no, but Gary says we’ll definitely feel inspired after a holiday on Eternia. He’s booked it for us and everything, so we HAVE to go.

He sighs mournfully and I take that as a hint to say goodbye and leave them to drink their tea, which of course, by now, has gone cold.

You can’t win for losing, folks!