Bear and Home Magazine is only published in the Bear Dimension
but each month we bring you selected excerpts from the latest issue.
This Month’s Feature
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My neighbour is driving me mad
Dear Susie
My neighbour is driving me mad. She makes sculptures on our shared driveway and plays her electric guitar far too loud. She’s always changing her look – I don’t know why she can’t choose one style and stick to it!
I’ve tried talking to her, that is to say, I haven’t said anything, but then I don’t see why I should have to. Plus I don’t want to upset her – she might play her guitar even LOUDER and it’s loud enough as it is. What do you think I should do?Yours in a terrible state,
Boggins Bear
Dear Boggins
I’m so sorry to hear that you are in a terrible state. I’m so glad you wrote in as we all need a listening ear sometimes and I am very happy to be that ear.
You said that your neighbour plays her electric guitar too loud and you don’t like looking at her sculptures. That must be very upsetting. It must be even more upsetting that you don’t feel you can talk to her, for fear of her playing the guitar even louder.
I wonder, though. Sometimes we build things up in our minds to be so much worse than they are. Have you tried imagining things the other way around? It can really help to visualise a positive conversation than a negative one.
Then you can have a relaxed and friendly conversation with your neighbour, rather than a tense and angry one. Perhaps you could say something like: “You’re so talented, I love to hear you play the guitar” (even if you really don’t!) “It does get a little loud for me at times, though.”
I really do hope your situation improves – but please don’t hesitate to write in again if you feel the need.
Sympathetically yours,
Susie
Mystic Mabel
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June 2026
Cosmic Greetings, dear bear-friends!
The Great Mind is smiling upon the Bear Dimension this month! Despite a wavy fold factor and fierce sun temperament, it is going to be a very powerful time with a luck rating of at least three!
Bears have the Biscuit Moon behind them in their endeavours this month. The fold depth is thick, indicating financial and emotional security and September looks like a dynamic and exciting month where bears are more likely to be lucky than not.
The planet Invisia is highlighted which means things may surface which you had not been aware of till now. Bears around you might be hiding something. Secrets? Biscuits? It is up to you to find out!
The cosmos also favours Aquaria so it might be an emotional time for some bears. Make sure you speak up about what you want and surround yourself with supportive friends who can take you out for tea and cake when you need it.
Philosophia is unaspected this month, meaning that some bears might experience confusion about what they want to do and who they want to be. (NB If you need more advice, I am available for Biscuitology Readings.)
The planet Regalia is glorified this month so it is a good time to attend festivals. Cumberfest is particularly well-aspected and is usually a good time all around so get your cucumbers ready!
Bears will benefit more than ever from getting together with friends so dust off that diary and start making plans. The sun is shining on the royal palace this month which means good fortune for those attending football matches. The royal team’s colours of green and yellow are, of course, particularly lucky.
Note for Pessabears. Since this is an unusually positive and well-favoured month, Pessabears should stay indoors as much as possible, only coming out at night when it is more likely they might bump into something.
These calculations take into account, the sun temperament and moon phases on each of the seven planets, plus the fold factors of the six staircases which then determines the luck factor for the dimension.
Travel in the Bear Dimension
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Mauris vitae accumsan lectus. Sed et fermentum nunc. Vivamus finibus ornare dignissim. Fusce consequat faucibus blandit. Phasellus iaculis molestie ante at finibus. Ut nec egestas lorem, venenatis tempus elit. Ut vitae dolor non lorem bibendum accumsan. Cras vestibulum dapibus ultrices.
A Bear’s Miscellany
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Mauris vitae accumsan lectus. Sed et fermentum nunc. Vivamus finibus ornare dignissim. Fusce consequat faucibus blandit. Phasellus iaculis molestie ante at finibus. Ut nec egestas lorem, venenatis tempus elit. Ut vitae dolor non lorem bibendum accumsan. Cras vestibulum dapibus ultrices.
Music
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The Complainers: Another Crushing Disappointment… For Them, Not Us!
By Digestive Biscuit, Music Columnist
Playing to a packed crowd at the Bearfield Halls last week, The Complainers were in fine form. By which I mean, there was the usual minimalist stage set, with poor lighting and absolutely no special effects.
Hundreds of bears flocked to Bear Central for this one off concert – and the two famous Pessabears did not disappoint. That is to say, they were deeply disappointed, and it came across in every lyric!
Their latest album, Can’t Win For Losing has been enormously popular, and fans were eager to hear the latest tunes. When I say tunes, I mean dirges, monotonal rants and the occasional off-key ballad. The Complainers’ faces grew more sour with every number, particularly when the crowd roared their approval and sang along with hits like: “It Never Rains But It Pours”, “I Knew This Would Happen” and “Scraping The Bottom Of The Barrel”.
Strangely enough, despite the clear attempt to bring everyone down, their gigs always seem to have the opposite effect. I spotted more than a few miserable faces in the audience leaving the venue smiling and laughing.
Another complete disaster for The Complainers of course, as everyone clearly missed the point of their music. They have just announced a tour of Outer Beargolia where they are undoubtedly hoping for a low turnout because of the distance bears would have to travel.
Somehow, I suspect they are going to be disappointed – again!
Cookery Corner
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Picnic tips from Princess Lily
Hints and tips for your summer picnic from Princess Lily, the Bear Dimension’s top picnic expert.
- Use a cookie cutter to cut your sandwich bread into interesting shapes. Pandoo’s kitchen in Bear Central, does a great range of picnic shapes including butterflies, flowers and bear paws.
- Theme colours for your picnic are a fun idea, but don’t go mad. For example, yellow food, on yellow plates on a yellow cloth is a big no! If bears can’t see the food properly there will be a lot of sour faces and you could lose your guests before you’ve even begun.
- To keep your water cool – half fill your water bottle the night before and put it in the freezer. Then top up next day and as the ice melts this will help chill the whole bottle.
- You will spend more time cutting up and trying to serve a full-size quiche, than eating it. This won’t please your guests! Try baking mini quiches instead. They look good and it’s easy to eat more. Perfect picnic food!
- Check your picnic area for jibjabs. The last thing you want when you’re about to tuck into a jam sandwich is a lot of jibjabs jabbing their jibbers in your backside.
Interviews
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Jonny Bugatti Interviews: The Complainers
Jonny: Today we’re here with Dogga and Dudu from The Complainers, and their manager, Gary Grabsalot.
Jonny: So, Dogga, Dudu, you both come from Wales. Is that where you met?
Dudu: I suppose you could say that. We lived with the same family in Llandudno, Wales. That’s “HlanDIDno” by the way. So few people, know how to pronounce it. Including the children we lived with. Jamie and Ginny thought it was “Clandudu”. Just my luck to be named after a town they couldn’t even pronounce!
Dogga looks equally miserable at the memory.
Dogga: And my luck. Jamie found me on a trip to Dolgellau. (That’s DolGETHlie by the way). He totally mangled the name of the town, and his parents thought it was FUNNY! So, then I became Dogaloo! It’s an insult, that’s what it is!
Gary has clearly heard this story before.
Gary: Jamie was only five years old, remember.
Dudu: Being five is no excuse! What was the Great Mind thinking?! IF the Great Mind exists, that is, I’m still not sure.
I notice he crosses his paws behind his back as he says this.
Jonny: So tell us about this forthcoming tour in Outer Beargolia?
Dogga rolls his eyes.
Dogga: Oh, yeah. Well we’re going to HAVE to do another tour apparently.
He looks sideways at Gary as he says this.
…But Outer Beargolia should be far enough away that hardly anyone turns up.
Gary chuckles.
Exactly! Reverse psychology. It’s a challenge to the fans: you won’t turn up for this one! But they always do!
Dudu looks doubtful.
I don’t know. It’s a very long way. Who would spend money on a trip to Beargolia just to see us?
Gary: See what I mean? We’re advertising the tour on Furrygram as “The Complainers challenge you to come see them in Outer Beargolia!” I reckon we’ll get one of our biggest turnouts yet.
Dogga and Dudu look depressed at this thought.
Jonny: So are you planning any more albums after Can’t Win for Losing?
Gary brightens up. Dogga and Dudu look resigned.
Dogga: Well, no, but Gary says we’ll definitely feel inspired after a holiday on Eternia. He’s booked it for us and everything, so we HAVE to go.
He sighs mournfully and I take that as a hint to say goodbye and leave them to drink their tea, which of course, by now, has gone cold.
You can’t win for losing, folks!
